Year after year, we follow rules and don’t even think about whether they’re still relevant or not. Is it that scary to quit wearing wedding rings? What do bridesmaids and groomsmen mean now at the wedding? Most of us simply think that following these traditions is a must and don’t realize that some of them have become pretty old-fashioned for the modern world.
Bright Side has studied internet users’ opinions and found 10 traditions and stereotypes that we’re really not obligated to follow anymore.
He’s scared to propose her and she thinks that he doesn’t love her or he borrows money to buy a ring and pay for dinner at an expensive restaurant and she says, “No” because she’s not ready. There are many scenarios that people face and each of them could lead to a breakup.
“I bought my ex an expensive silver engagement ring. We’d been together for 5 years. Well, she was so mad, that she said really nasty things and because of that, I had to leave her.”
Many couples decide to discuss their plans in advance to avoid any awkward situations. They realize that everything can be resolved without the traditional attributes like a ring, a romantic atmosphere, and a restaurant. People care more about their needs and desires today, than they do about traditions.
9. Celebrating housewarming parties
As soon as you buy a house or an apartment, you start getting questions about housewarming parties. Some of us even have to celebrate this event several times: with family, friends, and colleagues. What can you do if you don’t want to celebrate at all?
“All in all, people have to understand that you don’t have time for housewarming parties. Many people have to borrow money from the bank to buy a house, so they try to save money and avoid the celebration.”
Most people who buy property have to take out a loan. Prices are high, so most of couples can’t afford to host celebrations. Some of them only have a mattress and 2 chairs inside, and some are working really hard to pay off their loan. Remember that those who appreciate you won’t insist.
8. Having bridesmaids and groomsmen at the wedding
This tradition is pretty old-fashioned today. It’s up to you whether you want to have bridesmaids and groomsmen at your wedding.
“I don’t want my friends to be obligated to buy certain outfits for my wedding. If a couple wants to organize everything this way, they order similar dresses and pay for the order.”
Modern couples prefer not to give any roles to their guests. Those who want to be surrounded by people in outfits in a unique style should have to pay for all expenses connected with this.
7. Having children right after the wedding
After getting married, some women face an annoying question from their relatives and friends: “So when are you going to have children?” And they hear it even more often than, “How are you doing?”
“We decided to have a baby 3 years after living together. And we were so tired of hearing that living just for yourself was such a huge problem. But we didn’t want to explain that we wanted my wife to graduate from college first. Some people’s indiscretion did leave us speechless.”
There are couples who want to postpone having children because of financial issues, some can’t have children due to health problems, and others just want to live some time by themselves. You can either explain everything patiently or abruptly stop all questions coming from other people, it’s up to you. Remember that no one is allowed to criticize you.
6. Organizing parties for relatives and friends
Relatives and friends dream about having fun at your wedding, birthday, or anniversary, and it’s so difficult to say, “No.”
“2 years ago, I just realized I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday and needed to be alone for a while. My relatives were so angry, ‘You’re turning 30! You have to celebrate!’ I just switched off my phone that day and felt really great. Why should we always have to be comfortable for our friends and relatives?”
Some people just want to be selfish and don’t want to orchestrate something just to please other people, and it’s completely OK. Some newlyweds prefer to not have a luxurious wedding, but instead to travel to different countries. Some people just want to spend their birthday all alone. Your celebrations are just that, “your” celebrations.
5. Having lots of photoshoots
In the past, people used to take professional photos to remember the most precious moments of their lives (proms, weddings, etc.). Today, more and more kinds of photoshoots have become popular: love stories, a photoshoot with friends, lifestyle, waiting for baby, newborn, Christmas, and so on…
“Photos preserve the memories of great events in our lives, and these photoshoots are an attempt to become someone else surrounded by weird decor. When people take pictures on a boat, they preserve that memory, when they take photos while hiking, it’s a memory. And when you have a studio photoshoot, you remember the moment you were having a photoshoot…”
Some people don’t like to take pictures. Others can’t find any sense in studio photos. Anyway, don’t force anyone to have a photo shoot with you. Otherwise, their bored face might spoil every picture.
4. Wearing wedding rings
Some couples don’t wear wedding rings. The reasons are varied: people might not be allowed to wear rings at work, the size isn’t comfortable, or their fingers get swollen. Others simply can’t get used to this accessory.
“By the way, we didn’t wear our rings after the wedding. We bought them for our relatives mostly. For us, trust is more important than the metal around our fingers.”
Happy couples all around the world go out without these accessories. Even tabloids are tired of guessing what the absence of rings means in Beyoncé and Jay Z, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, and so on.
3. Showing newborn babies to relatives
As soon as a woman has her baby, her relatives start planning their visits.
“You don’t have to show your baby off if you don’t want to. You create your own rules for your family! If your relatives are wise, they’ll understand a mother who doesn’t want to show off her child right now.”
The first months are really important and it’s better to not disturb a mother while she’s taking care of her baby during this time. According to doctors, it’s also recommended to postpone family visits (at least during the first 3 months) since the risk for the baby to get sick is very high.
2. Remembering every significant date
Birthdays, engagement and wedding dates, a first kiss or trip… The list can be infinite. Studies show that we sometimes even forget those things that we try hard to keep in mind. And, by the way, a perfect memory doesn’t exist.
“I forgot our wedding day almost immediately and didn’t congratulate my wife. She was a little bit upset. Now, 6 years later, she also forgets the date. We remember it only when our relatives call us.”
Many couples don’t even try to remember every significant date. Those who find a date really important prefer to talk about the date in advance and don’t stay silent, waiting for a present.
1. Accommodating your relatives from different cities in your house
Everyone has the right to live in comfort and shouldn’t have to feel guilty. There are lots of hotels, hostels, and apartments out there that your relatives can rent.
“When I bought a small apartment, a huge amount of relatives who wanted to live with me ‘for a while’ appeared! Then my husband and I bought a 3 bedroom apartment, since it was impossible to live in my apartment with a baby. So we decided to rent the other one out to have money to pay off the loan for our new home. As a result: in our relatives’ eyes, we were ’greedy cheapskates.’”
Everyone is happy to welcome guests. But sometimes “for a while” can turn into “years” and you have to tolerate your relatives with all their habits and traits. To avoid any arguments, it’s better to let them know you have certain rules, and your relatives should understand that they’ll have to eventually find their own apartment if they want to stay long term.
Do you think we should have to follow all these traditions? Do you have anything you think should be added to this list?
Illustrated by Natalia Tylosova for BrightSide.me
Komünist Başkan, Aldığı Kararla Sosyal Medyada Trend Topic Oldu
Mehmet Fatih Maçoğlu’nun belediye başkanı olduğu Tunceli Belediyesi Meclisi, ‘Tunceli’ yazan belediye tabelasının ‘Dersim’ olarak değiştirilmesine karar verdi. Bu karar sonrası Maçoğlu, sosyal medyada Trend Topic oldu.
Tunceli Belediye Başkanı TKP’li Fatih Mehmet Maçoğlu başkanlığında belediye meclis üyeleri toplantısında alınan kararla Tunceli Belediyesi tabelasının ‘Dersim Belediyesi’ olarak değiştirilmesi kararı alındı. Karar tartışma yaratırken ‘DersimdeğilTunceli’ etiketi sosyal medyada Trend Topic oldu.
BELEDİYEDEN AÇIKLAMA YAPILDI
Belediyeden yapılan açıklamada Dersim ibaresiyle birlikte Zazaca ve Türkçe beleriye hizmetleri verileceği duyuruldu. Açıklamada şöyle denildi: “Kentimizin kültürü, tarihi ve inanç biçimini yaşatmak adına belediyemiz hizmet binasında bulunan tabelada yazılı ‘Tunceli’ ibaresinin değiştirilerek yerine ‘Dersim’ ibaresinin yazılması oy çokluğuyla kabul edildi. Haber
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15 Random People Who Look So Much Like Celebrities, You May Want to Take a Photo With Them
It’s not an easy goal to meet a real celebrity in our everyday life. Sometimes they are too busy with their activities or simply prefer to avoid public places. But when you see one right in front of you, don’t be too quick to jump over the moon and ask for a photo. Try to check their IDs first, because we are ready to show you that there are too many ordinary people who look just like stars and who probably wouldn’t miss a chance to pose and giggle afterward.
We at Bright Side compared photos of celebrities to their clones to demonstrate that this isn’t a joke. IDs first, photos after.
15. Kylie Jenner and Kristen Hancher, but which is which?
14. “My dad actually does Jack Nicholson lookalike work in Hollywood as a hobby.”
13. Breaking news! It seems Kim Kardashian has cloned herself.
12. “This fella lives in my house. I think James Franco and he follow each other on Instagram.”
11. “My sister always gets asked if she’s Julia Stiles.”
10. Nope, those aren’t just 2 pictures of Steve Buscemi!
9. Here’s chance for those who are upset that Michael Fassbender is married.
8. We’re just interested to see if Meghan Trainor’s double has the same talents.
7. We know this is pretty unexpected for Taylor Lautner, but we can’t unsee it.
6. This girl claims that she gets compared to Katy Perry daily.
5. When Chuck Norris is on vacation.
4. “Never mind, I’ll find someone like Adele.”
3. If Cobie Smulders doesn’t want to shoot How I Met Your Mother 10, there’s a perfect replacement out there.
2. Wait, so you’re saying that isn’t Zooey Deschanel on the right?
1. Even Zach Galifianakis and Jonah Hill can see this resemblance.
Do you have any friends who look exactly like movie stars? Show us their photos!
Research Says That People Who Blush Are More Generous and Trustworthy
Some people feel uncomfortable when they blush, because they believe that this reaction of their body makes them appear timid and insecure. However, the reality is very different, because blushing can make us look more sincere and trustworthy to other people.
Today, we at Bright Side would like to tell you why blushing is not a sign of weakness, as many used to think.
Humans are the only ones that blush.
Humans are the only species known to blush, according to the findings of Darwin. After observing the gestures of monkeys, while conducting his studies on evolution — he defined this reaction as “the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions,” that probably happens because of a social defense mechanism that humans create against feelings like guilt or shame.
It makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.
The truth is that, although it could be a social defense mechanism that speaks to our discomfort, we are more attractive when our cheeks begin to turn pink. This gesture reflects a bit of vulnerability, and it’s for that very reason that it also creates a sense of intimacy that is striking to the opposite sex. In addition, it makes us look radiant, which is why, when putting on makeup, we apply pink powder on our cheeks.
People who blush are more trustworthy.
According to a study that has been published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who blush easily are people who are considered to be trustworthy and more generous, compared to those who don’t react in the same way. The researchers of this study also claim that other forms of moderately expressing embarrassment and social vulnerability are true signs of virtue, since it’s not possible to reproduce these reactions voluntarily.
Other gestures that reveal our emotional state
In a series of experiments, 60 college students were videotaped recounting embarrassing moments. The results indicated that blushing generates trust in other people and that’s why we shouldn’t try to hide it. This investigation includes people who react with gestures like a downward gaze, covering their face, laughing involuntarily, and blushing at the slightest provocation.
Why we blush when we feel embarrassed
Our face turns red because when we are in an embarrassing situation, the body releases adrenaline, which is what causes the redness of the skin, as it increases the blood flow to the blood vessels. This process is linked to our sympathetic nervous system and, for this reason, we can’t control it. We can also feel our heart rate speed up, our breathing increase its frequency, and in some people it can cause them to start sweating.
When it comes to blushing, it’s impossible to lie.
Blushing is something that we, human beings, are unable to avoid. It’s a set of involuntary bodily functions that are unleashed when we are exposed to a situation that embarrasses us, although not always in an unpleasant way. But it always shows that something matters to us and that, if we’ve done something wrong, we do have the desire to fix it. Because of this, this reaction is linked to honesty. So, if you see your partner blushing, you should believe in what your eyes are seeing.
Do you blush very often? Do you find it embarrassing or is it something that doesn’t worry you too much? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.
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