Getting your child to behave can be frustrating. Sometimes, that the harder you try, the worse the situation becomes. You might even get stressed and equally upset and say things you wish you could take back. In these cases, there are phrases that can work like a charm to get your child to calm down.
Bright Side picked some of the best phrases to use on your child when they throw tantrums.
1. “It’s okay to be upset.”
Emotions should not be suppressed, even the ugly ones. Saying, “It’s okay to feel upset” or “It’s good to let it out” acknowledges their feelings and lets them know that feeling emotion is important.
2. “I get angry too sometimes. Let’s try out our warrior cry to get those angry feelings in check.”
Warrior cry to scream and let the pain out. Sometimes it is better to do this because it is hard to be rational when you’re really mad. Anger can come from pain and a study has shown that it is important to vocalize the pain in order to improve tolerance.
3. “You seem to be feeling sad.”
Sometimes, it is hard to know why they are acting up because they themselves cannot put their feelings into words. While you cannot assume to know how they’re feeling, you can always try to suggest what they’re feeling. This is what the neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls, “name it to tame it.”
4. “When you throw your toys, I think you don’t like playing with them. Is that what’s going on?”
Instead of yelling, “Stop throwing things!” try to help your kid to communicate their feelings. By using this phrase, you show them your perspective and also encourage them to tell you their perspective.
5. “You fell and your knee got scratched. Ouch!”
Rather than distracting or minimizing their feelings by saying, “Get up. You’re fine.” it is better to help kids make sense of their feelings. This is so that they will know what to do with the big feelings in the long run.
6. “It’s OK to be angry, but I won’t let you hit. We need to keep everyone safe.”
While trying to understand your child is crucial, it is also necessary to limit how they express their feelings, especially when it comes to violence. Instead of a “Don’t you dare hit!” warning, this gives a clear message that there is a difference between the emotion and how to express it. It says having the emotion is fine, but not the action.
7. “How you feel right now won’t last forever. It will pass and you will feel better again soon.”
In the heat of the moment, the emotion might be so overpowering that your child thinks that it is the end of the world. Telling them that it will pass serves as a reminder that things will get better.
8. “I will move over to the couch and I am here for you when you want a hug.”
Even a child sometimes just needs some space. If your offer to help is rejected, you may want to let them know that you’re giving them the time they need, but that you are still around if they need support.
9. “Can we start over?”
Suggest a do-over before their rage blinds them from understanding that they are getting worked up. This is a great way to get through anger, especially when nothing else works.
10. “What can we learn from this?”
Encouraging your child to grow through mistakes is something positive that can be achieved from their tantrum episodes. Learning from the reasons for having emotions and how to handle them better next time will help them in their life.
11. “Would you like to ask him if you can play with that toy afterward? We can play with this while we wait.”
When your little one wants a toy that another kid is playing with, you can help them cope with their feelings by suggesting an alternative. You let them know that it is still possible to get what they want as long as they try to get it in the right way. Or that there are other similar things that are available.
12. “Let’s go to our calm down space together.”
Instead of being authoritative and saying, “That’s it, you’re getting a time-out!” use this phrase to allow reconnection. Making them feel isolated by using punishing words will only lead to a power struggle.
13. “I see you haven’t brushed your teeth. Do you want to brush Elmo’s teeth first or yours?”
Toddlers throw tantrums to gain control over their environment. By giving them a choice, you’re giving them some sort of control and in turn you get to maintain the situation under control.
14. “You are safe.”
Children may throw fit because of fear. They may even be afraid of the consequences after acting out. If you tell them in a collected manner that they are safe, they are more likely to be able to behave better.
15. “You’re not eating your food. What can we do to make this food yummy?”
Fighting over food at the dinner table can be a daily torture. It is tempting to just give up and penalize them by saying, “Eat your food or you will go to bed hungry!” But rather than making it a war, you can place the responsibility of finding a solution back on your child.
16. “Today you see that when you fall, you can always get back up. Next time you fall, you’ll remember it’s no problem at all.”
This is a message to let them know that they can change and that failure isn’t permanent. It helps them resolve their current feelings and makes them want to try harder next time. These words may help them feel empowered to improve their behavior from within.
17. “Would you like my help?”
Allow them to choose whether or not you should have a hand in resolving their issue. Doing this puts the ownership on them and they will know that you’re there if they want help.
18. “I can see you didn’t hear me the first time. How about when I say it to you, you whisper it back to me?”
It can be hard to be heard when a child is trying to get your attention and not giving attention to you. By having your child repeat your words, your words are more likely to get through to them.
19. “Let’s take a breath for a minute.”
Give your child the time they need to sit with an emotion. Let them know that they can take their time to be in the moment with their emotion.
20. “I can see that you don’t want to leave the playground yet. What do you need to do to be ready to leave?”
Changing to a new activity can be challenging to a kid. Use this phrase to avoid a power struggle and give them a chance to adapt to the change easier.
Which of these phrases have you used on your child before? Do they work wonderfully? If you haven’t, would you consider using these phrases on your child?
7 Hidden Messages in “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” That Weren’t Meant for Kids
Lewis Carroll’s tale Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland had an amazing influence on cinema, literature, and even psychology: movies and ballets were based on it, sequels and remakes were written. There is even a psychological disorder named after the main character: Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AWS). This seemingly innocent children’s story was the subject of heated discussions by scientists of the 20th century and even Freud talked about it. The point of the discussions was simple: was the tale written for children or for adults?
Bright Side has read the book “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Decoded” and tried to figure out which parts of the story can only be understood by adults.
1. Alice’s shrinking and growing is a sign of puberty.
When Alice ate a cake or drank a certain mixture, Alice would shrink or grow, and she was scared that she would disappear completely. While there were no actual reasons for the changes in her body in the text, scientists have 3 versions of what could have been the hidden meaning behind that episode:
- Alice’s body changes in a similar way to how it would change as a teenager during puberty. Many people think that Carroll showed the puberty of the character. But why this idea may also be wrong is because Alice is only 7 years old and it is too young to be a teenager.
- Astronomers link the character with the expanding Universe. According to one of the theories, the amount of matter in the Universe is constantly decreasing which will ultimately lead to its disappearance. Obviously, this is why the character was worried about shrinking so much that she would vanish.
- Other people see an indication of hallucinogenic substances, which make people completely disoriented, just like Alice.
2. The pig the character has is an English King.
It is believed that the tale is an allusion to the War of the Roses that took place in England in the 15th century. This time period was full of scheming, betrayal, and there were a lot of chopped heads — just like in the tale.
Assuming the guess is correct, then baby that turned into the pig is a member of the White Rose. And more specifically, it was Richard III who had a sigil with a white boar. Shakespeare even wrote a play about it where he presented Richard in a very bad light.
3. The smell of pepper in the house of the Duchess hides the smell of bad food.
The tale casually mentions that the house of the Duchess smells a lot like pepper because the scullery was adding pepper to the soup. But it may have been a hint at the problem that the food at the time was peppered a lot, to kill the smell of rotten ingredients.
4. Alice is Eve, who becomes a sinner.
The adventures of Alice starts in a quiet garden. It was an idyllic place, green and quiet, and that’s why it reminds many people the Garden of Eden. But Alice doesn’t take an apple, she goes down the rabbit hole and goes into a world that gives rise to incredible changes in her. This theory seems to be pretty logical: children are innocent but when Alice went into the hole (took the apple), she entered the world of puberty, adult life, and became a sinner.
5. Keys, doors, and caterpillars are Freudian symbols.
When Freudian theories became very popular around the world, the tale of Alice turned out to be full of gynecological symbols. The fans of Freud managed to see the symbols in the doors that were hidden behind the curtains, and keys that open these doors. Of course, they couldn’t have missed Absolem — the giant caterpillar that looks like a you know what.
Even though this theory has life, it is not very believable, because people can see these symbols everywhere if they really want to.
6. Walrus and Carpenter are actually Buddha and Jesus.
This is the name of the poem that the twin brothers Tweedledee and Tweedledum read to Alice. The poem tells the story about Walrus and Carpenter, that walk on the beach and call out for oysters to walk with them. The oysters go to the shore and Walrus and Carpenter eat them. Walrus then cries at the end.
There are several interpretations:
- Walrus is a caricature of Buddha, and Carpenter is Jesus. For example, the character Loki from Dogma believes this. The logic is simple: Walrus is fat and happy, so he is Buddha or elephant Ganesha, and Carpenter is the direct reference to the profession of the father of Jesus.
- J. Priestly is convinced that the poem is the story of England’s (Walrus) colonization of America (Carpenter).
- There is a more violent interpretation. Some people believe that Walrus and Carpenter are politicians that kill the masses — the oysters.
7. The poem about the White Rabbit in chapter 12 uncovers the love mystery of Carroll himself.
Some researchers see the reference to the unusual connection between Lewis Carroll and Alice Liddell that was the prototype of the main character. Here are the lines we are talking about:
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
This is one of the most sensitive moments in the interpretation of the tale. Some people think that when the girl was supposed to come of age, the writer was going to marry her, but for some reason he had an argument with Mrs. Liddell and he never saw the members of the family since.
Do you want to read the tale now that you have some new knowledge about it in order to find some new hidden meaning? If yes, you can read the original manuscript written by Carroll himself here.
What 20 Celebs Looked Like at the Start of Their Career
Celebrities are usually known for their biggest successful works, but most of them stepped into the entertainment world with smaller roles. A lot of them have been in the industry for so long that we’ve forgotten what they looked like when they first started. Taking a look at some of their earliest works is indeed a blast from the past.
Bright Side looks into some of the earliest works from certain actors and is amazed at how much they have grown within the industry.
1. George Clooney
2. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
3. Keanu Reeves
4. Brie Larson
5. Betty White
6. Leonardo DiCaprio
7. Drew Barrymore
8. Tom Hanks
9. Scarlett Johannson
10. Halle Berry
11. Harrison Ford
12. Denzel Washington
13. Reese Witherspoon
14. Angelina Jolie
15. Johnny Depp
16. Jennifer Garner
17. Robert Downey Jr.
18. Will Smith
19. Nicole Kidman
20. Sandra Bullock
Have you seen the early works of these celebrities before? Do you know what any other famous entertainers looked like when they first began their career?
14 Examples of How Perfect Photos on Social Media Can Mislead Us
Most Internet users tend to sugarcoat their lives, belongings, body shapes, etc. And Instagram is the perfect place to post these kinds of photos. It’s a world of successful, happy people who take colorful trips, make expensive purchases, and boast perfect bodies.
Bright Side found some “behind-the-scenes” photos of gorgeous shots from social media. Turns out, believing everything you see on the Internet is never a good idea.
1. A 3-minute smartphone photo session + 3 magic filters
2. The king of the road
3. It’s all about the right angle…
4. A popular festival on Instagram vs a popular festival in reality
5. Support is the real hero.
6. A dog can never spoil a shot.
7. Slightly added brightness
8. When summer starts, we see it on every other Instagram account.
9. The process of making up always finishes the same way.
10. Unicorns can be insidious.
11. Everyone wants a photo in a lavender field.
12. Bright cities in photos might not be as bright in real life.
13. Aboard a private jet
14. A fashionable breakfast
Do you edit your photos on social media to try to look better? We’d be happy to hear from you in the comments!
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