Divorce is rarely painless in any family. Although, for the sake of children’s well-being, it’s sometimes better to make the decision to have a smooth break up rather than maintain a difficult marriage. If handled correctly, parental separation can bring a happier future to children, while staying in an unhappy relationship can make everyone in the family suffer — especially the kids.
Bright Side has listed 6 reasons why a difficult marriage can have a worse outcome for children than divorce.
They’ll mirror the unhealthy model of their parents’ relationship.
Children absorb relationships patterns that surround them like sponges. When they see endlessly arguing parents, they do it too. Kids start to think it’s fair to settle for an unhappy marriage and will become doubtful about their ability to develop a healthy and loving relationship.
Being jealous, getting angry easily, not talking to their spouse, and being domineering and critical are all parental behaviors that tend to lead to problematic marriages in the lives of children with toxic parents.
They’ll probably never “get used” to their parents’ fighting.
Children detect negative emotions pretty easily and they’re super sensitive to destructive family conflict. With parents often showing disrespect for each other, their kids’ social and emotional well-being is not safe.
The tension between parents can threaten a child’s sense of security, making them feel rejected, uncertain, and guilty. And instead of putting up with it, they may eventually grow into adults with low self-esteem, trust issues, and the feeling of unworthiness.
As a result, they become more vulnerable to stress.
When children don’t feel safe in their own home, there’s a chance they could become easily stressed and go on to interpret ordinary situations as threatening. Their anxiety can lead to nightmares and feelings of apprehension.
When children of toxic parents grow up, they may find it hard to accept that relationships between 2 people involve misunderstandings. They may display high levels of self-criticism, and even when facing not-so-serious difficulties, they’ll suffer heavily from self-condemnation.
They may have trouble building various types of relationships.
Kids living in a toxic environment are not only at risk of having rough romantic relationships in their adulthood, but it can even affect how a child will perceive any kind of connection with another person. Conflicts at home lead to difficulties with building balanced relationships with peers, while sibling relationships can become overprotective or distant.
In unhappy families, children likely didn’t have any power to stop what was happening to them. So as adults, they may find it difficult to talk about things they don’t like in their partners and to establish healthy boundaries.
They’ll try to numb their emotions and pick up bad habits.
Kids often want to start doing things to stave off bad emotions. So in response to a stressful situation in the family, they may develop unhealthy habits.
This behavior can consist of overeating, excessive video game usage, or other attempts to escape from reality. Children can show unpleasant feelings indirectly too. They may lose interest in school, get in fights with peers, and become angry while playing with toys.
They may become afraid of their own emotions.
Criticism and anger don’t automatically mean people stopped respecting each other, they can still be part of a normal relationship. But destructive tactics between parents such as avoidance, verbal aggression, and walking out can make children feel that expressing their own feelings isn’t a safe strategy.
Kids may start to think that anger and criticism are a source of extreme danger. And, of course, they will go on to repeat their parents’ toxic behavior in their own relationships as adults.
Children usually do better outside a toxic environment, even if their parents have separated. While those who grow up in a stressful household may develop anxiety, depression, and other problems, kids whose parents get a divorce usually adjust well over time.
This is all true only if parents are willing to maintain an amicable relationship and find a way to have a healthy divorce where their children’s well-being is a core concern.
Do you have any friends who struggle to make a decision about staying in a difficult marriage? What do you think is best for kids in this situation? Tell us in the comment section below.
Illustrated by Alena Sofronova for BrightSide.me
20 Texts That Prove a Relationship Is Not an Easy Game
Chats make our relationships more exciting and unpredictable! 25% of couples sometimes even text their partner when they are both home together. It’s very difficult to say goodbye to text messaging because so many funny and amusing things go on there!
We at Bright Side also love to laugh at digital chatting situations between couples and want to share with you a new genre of humor.
Do you also have chats like this with your partner? Please, share your stories below!
Marvel Phase 4: Black Widow, Doctor Strange 2, Thor 4 schedule revealed
For the first time in years we finally have an idea of what Marvel Studios has planned for the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
The studio revealed its upcoming schedule during its Hall H panel at San Diego Comic-Con on Saturday night, announcing at least 10 projects to expect over the next two years. The biggest revelations include the news that Natalie Portman will wield Thor’s hammer; Mahershala Ali will star in a new Blade project; and a confirmation from Marvel that it’s working on movies featuring some of the studio’s recently acquired characters.
Marvel’s business plan and marketing strategy has long been to hype what’s next, with much of that hype being driven by its signature post-credits scenes and panels at fan conventions like Comic-Con or Disney’s D23. And for awhile, it was customary for the studio to announce its release schedule several years early — in 2015 Marvel announced movies like 2018’s Black Panther and 2019’s Captain Marvel.
But even the studio’s two most-recent films — April’s colossal cinematic juggernaut known as Avengers: Endgame and this month’s Spider-Man: Far From Home — arrived in theaters, Marvel still hadn’t revealed what movies it’s launching in 2020, or if it plans to launch any at all. Meanwhile, the studio had kept relatively quiet save for a few casting and crew announcements (like we found out this week that Taika Waititi would be directing the fourth Thor movie).
Here’s what Marvel announced during its Comic-Con panel:
- Black Widow, starring Scarlett Johansson and Rachel Weisz and directed by Cate Shortland, arriving in theaters on May 1, 2020
- The Eternals, starring Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek and directed by Chloe Zhao, arriving in theaters on November 6, 2020
- Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, starring Simu Liu and directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, arriving in theaters on February 12, 2021. Shang Chi will be Marvel’s first film with a lead character of Asian descent.
- Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Elizabeth Olsen (yes, Scarlet Witch) and directed by Scott Derrickson, arriving in theaters on May 7, 2021
- Thor: Love and Thunder, directed by Taika Waititi and starring Natalie Portman (who will wield the legendary hammer as the first female Thor), Tessa Thompson, and Chris Hemsworth, arriving in theaters on November 5, 2021
Marvel studios president Kevin Feige also confirmed upcoming movies involving the Fantastic Four and the X-Men’s mutants — characters who were previously owned by Fox, but which now fall under Marvel’s purview thanks to the recent Disney-Fox merger. He also confirmed that the sequels for Black Panther and Captain Marvel, are in development. Black Panther is Marvel’s biggest solo superhero movie to date, having made $1.3 billion worldwide, and Captain Marvel, its first solo superhero film to center on a female hero, also passed the $1 billion mark.
Vying for the biggest surprise of the evening was Feige bringing Mahershala Ali to the Comic-Con stage to announce a new Blade project. Ali previously appeared as the villain in Marvel’s Netflix series Luke Cage, so the new Blade film project possibly signals that Marvel’s television projects with Netflix and its cinematic universe are completely separate entities.
Marvel also revealed its television series lineup for Disney’s forthcoming streaming service Disney+, which is scheduled to launch in November:
- The Falcon & Winter Soldier in fall 2020
- WandaVision in spring 2021
- Loki in spring 2021
- WHAT IF …? — an animated series featuring characters from the MCU in summer 2021
- Hawkeye in fall 2021
For fans who can’t wait until 2020 for Marvel’s next best thing, rest assured. The studio will probably have more surprises to share next month — and perhaps even first-look footage or concept art from its upcoming projects— at Disney’s D23 convention, which will take place from August 23 to 25, 2019 in Anaheim.
23 Moving Photos That Prove Our Moms Deserve All the Love in the World
From creating cosplay costumes for us and making lunches for all of our friends to giving us everything they’ve got, mothers never fail to surprise us! Their imagination and wit have no limits, as they always know how to find a solution to any situation, even if their resources are limited and time is short. No matter how old we get, we’ll always stay kids in our mothers’ eyes and they’ll always rush to help us, even if we’re 30 years old.
Bright Side wants to admire our moms, which why we’re so happy to give you 23 photos where people captured moments of being emotional, clever, brave and strong.
1. After giving birth, a mother laughs hysterically at her husband who just fainted at the sight of their newborn son.
2. “Little me knew exactly how to show appreciation for my mother.”
3. Proud mom with her graduated son
4. “My mom gave me a kidney 2 years ago. All I can give her are flowers.”
5. This clever single mother dressed up as a dad to take her kid to “Donuts With Dad” day at school.
6. She has 3 daughters and she writes 5 lines a day to each of them. These will be gifts when they get married one day.
7. This mom poses as a power ranger with her son. You don’t need to be a child to know how to have fun!
8. A homeless mother is dressing her daughter for school.
9. “My friend’s mom made my turtles sweaters.”
10. “A coworker said her mom made lunch for the office. We accepted.”
11. The best cosplay is when your mom decides to participate in it too.
12. “I told my mom I was really sick today. An hour later she showed up at my house with this. I’m 30.”
13. “I’m a teacher in Canada and my mom made me this scarf to keep me warm.”
14. A daughter surprised her mother with an early return from deployment. Her mother’s emotions are priceless.
15. “Yesterday my mom ran for the first time in 9 months since the Boston Marathon bombings. She’s my inspiration!”
16. “Jokingly, I sent my mom a cutout of myself while I was studying abroad. She seems to be entertaining herself with it.”
17. “This is one of my favorite pics of my mom even though she isn’t in focus. Hope you guys enjoy it.”
18. “My mom smiling after saving 40 kids from a burning school bus today”
19. “Look at this giant blanket my mom crocheted!”
20. “This is how my mom greeted me at the airport after having not seen me for a few years. She made me walk through the entire airport under her left arm.”
21. “My mom and I have always bonded over GoT. This year she made me these cakes for my 30th ’name day’.”
22. “My father passed away from lung cancer in July. Mom had these gifts made for me and my brother. The best gift I’ve ever received.”
“This is a shirt I used to wear, and when you hold it I’ll be there. Love, Dad.”
23. “My mom graduating with her Ph.D. in social work from Tulane. Her goal was to graduate by 60 and she did it with a year to spare.”
BONUS: Moms are always the same, loving and caring for everyone.
Which photo did you like the most? Do you have an adorable photo of you with your mom? Let’s share them in the comment section!
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